Yeah, look at all you lovely, sweet-looking Canadian people. You guys are all so sweet. Right? ‘Cause you’re Canadian, right? You’re nice. Sooner or later we gotta just own up to the fact that we are not the nice ones in our relationship with our neighbours to the south. Right? Everyone thinks, around the world, “Oh!” “Canadians are so nice.” “Americans are awful.” That’s not the way it is. You ever ask an American what they think of a Canadian? They’re just like, “Oh they’re so great, they’re just great little people.” “Up there with their cute hats. They’re awesome, I love them so much.” You ever ask a Canadian what they think of an American? What about you guys? You got anything nice to say? Oh sure, when there’s one around, yeah. Yeah. We’re not stupid. We know there’s a good chance they’re armed. You make something up, right? You’re just like, “Oh, yeah, they’re pretty good at, um, like the Olympics and weapons and stuff.” Get us alone, though, and it’s open season, right? I dunno. I do – I hate crossing the border though. I really it hate it. I hate it. Even when I have proper paperwork and I’m doing something totally legal – I hate it, right? Has anybody crossed the border recently? Was it fun? No! Of course not! Right? ‘Cause you start pulling up to that little booth and you start feeling bad about things you’ve never even thought about doing in your life. Right? You’re just driving up to that thing, you’re like, “Oh, I shouldn’t have killed all those bald eagles.” “That’s gonna catch up with me here.” And you get there and they ask you simple questions but your brain shuts off, right? They’ll just look at you, be like, “You got anything in the trunk?” And you just panic. You’re like, well, thirty seconds ago I’d have said nothing, but now there’s a good chance it’s full of dead kids stuffed with guns and heroin. I can’t do this today. Peace. You can’t do that either, eh? You can’t quit when you get to the front of the line. Right? “Where ya headed?” Back to Canada, bud, I can’t do this today. They’ll chase you down the highway. It’s not the same the other way around, right? Like coming – coming in the Canadian side is hilarious, right? It’s just – you come up to that little red booth and the guy pops his head out the window, he’s like, “Hey bud!” How’s it going, man? “Oh not too – not too bad, just watchin’ the border, y’know.” “Where ya headed?” Winnipeg. “Oh, no way! Say hey to Gary for me.” “You got anything in your car?” “Ah, I don’t care, in ya go.” American side’s a little different, isn’t it? Right? You wanna know why? Because they told those guys, somewhere along the lines, they’re like, “Hey!” “Listen! You’re the last line of defense!” And they’re all morons so they’re like, “I’m the last line of defense!” “I gotta protect my country! I’m the last line of defense!” You’re not the last line of defense. You’re not protecting your country. You’re just delaying Canadians’ trips to Target. That’s all you’re doing. (laughter, applause) Right? And it’s just like – I got a nice border cop once and I was immediately terrified, okay? I had no idea how to handle it ’cause I was like, they’re not nice; this is a trick. And I was right. All right? I was right. Because I got detained for three and a half hours because I borrowed my friend’s car and he just didn’t know how to handle that. Like he just didn’t understand the concept of borrowing. He just looked at me, he’s like, “Well, where’s your friend now?” I’m like, he’s at work in Toronto. “And he just gave you his car?” Well, like, I gotta give it back. And he just sat there with a stupid look on his face and at that moment in time I realized border cops don’t have friends. You wouldn’t hang out with somebody who’s that big of a dick! You wouldn’t go to Ed’s house if you showed up there and he’s like “What are you doing here?” You invited me over here to watch the game! “You got anything on you?” Yeah, snacks! Get out of the doorway!