When you’re not super fit | Drew Barth | Dry Bar Comedy

When you’re not super fit | Drew Barth |  Dry Bar Comedy

I like our apartment. I like our bathrooms. I have ONE gripe with our bathroom, though, and it’s the way that it’s set up, it’s configured in such a way where, when you’re standing in the shower and you pull back on the shower curtain, that main mirror is right there. And I’m not usually ready for that. Like, it’s normally if you’re gonna be naked in front of a mirror, you kind of psych yourself up a little bit, right? You’re just—you’re like, “Alright, here comes the mirror, alright…” And you just flex the whole time, here, in front—”Hey, you look pretty good today! Alright, just brush your teeth— “There we go, put in my contact lens, alright. Alright, you deserve a pizza, good for you. Alright.” Somehow, I forget every morning: I get done with my shower and turn off the water, put my shampoo back, pull back the shower curtain… I’d rather see a Puma in my bathroom than my naked disappointed foggy self looking back at me. Also, whoever was that designed the mirror to go down to here? We need to talk, because… I’ve also discovered that kind of my personal self-confidence in my body is directly correlated to wherever I wrap the towel around myself. Like, some dudes wrap it around here: stop it. Uh…I like to go, like, right aro—if I could wrap it around my neck, that’d be… Make like a cape-poncho kind of thing. That’s… That’s the look I’d like. My wife and I, we did try and get into good shape for, uh, for our wedding. I’ve never really—never really had, kind of, a—a physical fitness goal to get towards. Uh, my wife does like to watch a lot of soccer, and… And if you’ve ever watched soccer with a girl, it is—because those players are ridiculously good-looking, uh, and in tremendous shape, and it’s actually kind of like a level of physical fitness that I feel like anybody can attain, which I think is why it’s kind of even harder to watch, like, I don’t want to just see a whole bunch of me if I actually applied myself, like… I think that’s part of the reason why soccer’s had trouble catching on in the U.S. the way it has with the rest of the world, is that we like our athletes to just be genetic freaks. So that we’ll be watching, we’re like, “Well, I’ll never be that big or that muscular, so I don’t even have to try, awesome. Where’s that cheese blizzard I was working on again?” And you can actually even watch other sporting events with a girl and feel okay about yourself: you can watch the NFL. It’d be like, “Sweetheart, would you like it if I was, you know, 6’6″, 250 pounds, would you even want that?” “No, that’s too big! That’s not what I…that’s too many muscles, we couldn’t fit on the couch when we… watch Grey’s Anatomy. You’d scare the cat. [giggle]” You watch the NBA with a girl: “Sweetheart, would you like it if I was, you know, 6-foot 8″ like that guy, would you want that?” “No, that’s too tall, it’s too tall! [giggle] Cos we like to spoon, and that’d just be like… “I mean, like a spoon and a…and a ladle, just…” But if you try watching soccer with a girl, and you’re like, “Sweetheart, would you like it if I was, you know, “6% body fat?…had a fauxhawk?…spoke Italian?… “Sweetie?” “Yeah, I really would, actually! “I’m just saying, you could do it, you guys are the same height! He’s—he’s like six years older than you, he… “He looks great. No, finish your burrito, I’m glad you like burritos, I’m just… “Just—just saying he probably doesn’t get winded when we make out, so…” It’s a fair point. That’s a good point. Subscribe to Dry Bar Comedy for even more of the world’s largest collection of clean comedy.

Comments (100)

  1. My husband is 6'3" and around 240lbs. Can confirm: he does scare the cats.

  2. I love his range of voices, particularly his girlfriend's voice.

  3. I died when he flexed in front of the mirror

  4. Fun – 5/10.. doesn't come close to sth like Owen Benjamin

  5. The majority of soccer players have a unique hair style, some of them are awesome

  6. "genetic freaks" suuuure lmfao

  7. I'd like to see you naked every time I get out of the shower….. you look great!

  8. As someone who is 5’6 dating someone 6’8, I can confirm it’s like a spoon and a ladle.

  9. this guy's lucky not to be german, because he has the same last name as this german comedian who is one of the least funny humans on earth and people would dislike him just by association lol

  10. Man I love this guy! He has such good control of his voice.

  11. I would watch an hour long special of this guy, hilarious.

  12. I don’t like too much “man” either. Too much muscles creep me out so I never understand other women.

  13. I had to pause and drink something cause my laughing turned into a cough and now my throat hurts…

  14. The trick to the shower mirror thing is to stay in long enough to make the mirror so fogged up that you can’t see anything in it

  15. No one really looks like the picture on the underwear package anyway.

  16. He reMinds me of my brother's gay partner Russ. When we all go out, people place Russ and I together, we're always hugging and joking with each other, haha thank you love your stuff, super relatable

  17. Your wife isn’t watching 'soccer.' She’s watching football.

  18. Omg this guy is a RIOT 😂

  19. I fine him to be soon cute

  20. I have to admit this guy keeps me laughing, he is really good.

  21. He said he'd rather see a PUMA. LOL!

  22. Still reminds me of Ezra, rrrrr

  23. If anyone knows who John Flickinger is this dude sounds exactly like him

  24. So nice to hear a male comedian who doesn't force a lisp into his female voice impersonation.
    Also, this clip was hilarious. 🤣

  25. What girl talks like that?

  26. Funny that he's talking about soccer players because I get a lot of a "Xabi Alonso younger and better looking brother" vibe from him.

  27. For whatever reason my new apartment has a mirror above the tiolet🤤
    So,when I go pee,im confused & flustered because if I dont look I feel someone is staring at me,if I do it feels awkward like im watching myself. So….I pee with the light off,& my head down & try not to think about the creepy man staring at me😊

  28. Omg I love this guy

  29. i want more of this guy hahaha

  30. He's a handsome man ! his wife chose well. The jokes were funny!

  31. Oooh I hate him, he is already so handsome talking about getting in shape , while I'm sitting here like freaking panda.

  32. He looks handsome! Natural, and he is witty; quite the charming man!

  33. The voice he uses for his wife! 😂😂😂

  34. I would like her to be 6%bodyfat! n actually do a number of other things she tried that one time!

  35. Getting a lot of Pablo Francisco vibes from this guy and I like it.

  36. He is what my brain pictures when I imagine Dave Chapelle's impersonation of a white dude

  37. This is Kramer's son right?

  38. I love his female impressions hahahaha

  39. So… are all of the comics on this channel Mormons?

  40. I'm a 6'10" 230 lb dude and I've scared myself walking around a corner and seeing a mirror of myself.

  41. He’s a playground dad type of hot.
    Give him a pram!

  42. I read that Drew Barth has a terrible accident in Feb. 2018 by an uninsured driver.   Friends set up a GoFundMe page for him to help cover medical expenses.   If you can donate anything, please go to:  @t     Thank you!

  43. fam you're hilarious lmao

  44. 2:20 doesn’t he sound like Kermit the frog haha

  45. I would love to be his bathroom mirror honestly 😍

  46. Spoke Italian, or Spanish- from Spain- , or Portuguese. 😂Ssoooo true

  47. I searched soccer players after this.

  48. My boyfriend is a 6 foot 3, over 200 pound rugby player…and he scares everyone 😂 but he's the sweetest person ever ❤

  49. This man is SOOO attractive though

  50. Because the add about a lung cancer diagnosis before a joke clip helps with the laughter so much.

  51. I've watched his videos so much! Please come to Rhode Island!

  52. Man, he’s funny. I loved the cape poncho and the cheese blizzard bits

  53. his female voice!

  54. Noooooo I'm 6'8"
    It does kinda suck date a chick that is 5'4" lol

  55. What is he talking about? He's hot 🔥

  56. I love how his girl voice is the exactly the same as Arin Hanson's

  57. I love his voice. He's supposed to be a voice actor

  58. Idk whether to feel sad for or comforted when truly attractive people say they have appearance/confidence issues. It's like, you wish they could just see how good looking they are but at the same time it's nice to know that people aren't so different after all and that no one's perfect.

  59. no, finish your burritos. hahahaha! le sigh.

  60. This guy makes me proud of working out with this and some other videos of him but I don't think he doesn't work out actually

  61. He's chick voice makes me giggle

  62. He reminds me of Paul Walker

  63. 3:30 that act is gold lmao

  64. He seems pretty in-shape to me.

  65. Beach volleyball, too.

  66. this guy is awesome haha so funny…

  67. Most of my family has BMI in the 30-40 range. I have no sympathy for him.

  68. Reminds me of Bill Burr minus all the vulgarity!

  69. Another sport you don't watch with a girl: ice hockey. You could only get away with watching football if you're not watching JJ Watt.

  70. I hope this guy doesn't get simply pigeonholed as a "clean comic". He's really quite talented and funny in his style. He's not groundbreaking or the next Richard Prior/Louis CK/Norm MacDonald/George Carlin kind of genius funny but he probably doesn't have their issues either. He's basically a classic sitcom comedy style comedian. Like I can imagine him having a show where he plays a young, early 30something newly married IT guy living out in the suburbs of Denver or something with a young pretty wife and his first new house. A bit of a throwback but I'd like to see him thrown in the mix and doing some sets on Jimmy Fallon or Conan.

  71. Is it just me or do I detect a bit of Kermit the Frog in his voice?

  72. Okay. That explains why i like to watch soccer so much. 🙂

  73. Awesome clean comedy 😎

  74. He reminds me of Eric from that 70s show in this one for some reason 😂

  75. "No finish your burrito." Me : eats burrito because it's my only comfort

  76. That guy at 3:20 looking at his girlfriend for affirmation.

  77. i just choked on my pizza!

  78. just not very funny

  79. Hahahahahaha good stuff.

  80. I’m literally 6’6” and 250 and I love cats

  81. My husband is 6'2" and 220lbs. I am 5'7" and he gets winded when we make out😁we do not have cats

  82. youve solicited me in this way before and i do not appreicate it, dry bar

  83. I totally hear Pablo Francisco in this routine!

  84. Read his name as Darth Brew in my head. Should definitely go by that

  85. The gf impression reminds me too much of the voice Aaron gave Zelda in the Game Grumps Oot playthrough, great piece.

  86. I love mirrors. I love walking around in public and get talked too every 5min. Too bad compliments don't 'feel' the same after a lot of them.

  87. he sounds like bearded Marzia when he does a girl voice

  88. sorry but wife says dismorphia

  89. Whenever his vids pop up it’s always a bathroom rant 😂

  90. I know that joke from Michael McIntyre 🤔

  91. 'I'd rather see a puma' hahahaha such a random line but made me laugh hard.

  92. If he embarrassed by his mirror, what 95% of people who are MUCH uglier supposed to do?..

  93. 3:48 That laugh though 🤣

  94. OMG how you move when you say "just brush your teeth… putting my contact lense…" I was dying! 🤣🤣

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